4.1.1 Beliefs about caring for child/ren

All the people who were not in paid work said it was important to them to have a parent at home particularly with a pre-school child, and for some, with any dependent child. People spoke of the opportunity to make the most of this time with their children, and to develop strong relationships with them. Several felt it was their responsibility to care for the child/ren they had decided to have:

I'm doing the best for him. It's the one on one. I've got time to teach him things and let him experience things like going to the beach and the park. The most important factors are my philosophy and values. I always thought if I had children, I didn't want them to be in childcare.

Several referred to the way they had been brought up, particularly having a mother, or in one case a father, at home full time. They wanted their children to have the same experience:

My philosophy on family and children and my upbringing and my partner's - we both had a parent at home, someone after school - and we think that's important.

Both men and women not in paid work held this view. Some men had made the decision to stay home reluctantly, but had come to see it as an opportunity to build a good relationship with their child/ren:

As a father you're supposed to provide for your family but you have a partner who has a different story and wants me to be at home. You have to come to a decision. Most children are not close to their fathers but you become close to them being at home. I have come to see it this way.

Participants' views about formal early childhood education services, particularly full day or full time services, were related to their beliefs about a parent being at home with young children. A number thought that centre-based early childhood education services did not provide sufficient care and attention for children under two years old as they required one on one care. One person felt that centre-based care was over stimulating for young children. Some thought that no-one could look after their child/ren as well as they could:

We're not into childcare - too many kids [at centres]. We wanted to have one parent at home. Maybe the kids get socialisation [at a centre] - I don't know but there's not enough one on one.

This group did not rigorously examine full day early childhood education services as an option for childcare. None thought that a place was difficult to find, although there might be a waiting list or hours that did not suit. One person looked at a centre her mother worked in. Another, aware of how dangerous her partner's occupation was and the possibility that she would need to financially support herself and her child, looked at a centre near where she used to work just to see what it was like. None tried to find formal early childhood education or informal childcare to enable them to participate in paid work.

Although they did not want their children to attend childcare centres, many in this group were involved in other forms of formal early childhood education such as kindergarten or playcentre. This was consistent with their belief that being with their child was important. One person had a pre-schooler at an Aoga Amata because he wanted his child to learn Samoan language and culture. Most people also took their child/ren to some type of pre-school activity such as swimming or music classes.

In considering possible future early childhood education and childcare arrangements, a few participants mentioned a nanny as an option. One felt that, while they preferred this arrangement because it offered one on one care in a home environment, they could not afford it. Another person's partner did not want someone else in their home.

4.1.2 Gender roles

Most participants not in paid work had had some discussion with their partner about who would be the primary caregiver. A few supported traditional gender roles, that is, they believed that women should be at home with their children, but most simply felt that the woman was more able to look after a child or that the man did not want to or 'could not' do it. For example:

Before the baby there was discussion of my partner staying at home but when [our child] was born, my partner was in shock by what was involved. We did discuss that maybe at six months we would swap, but then at six months it was decided the [child] needed me more.

One of the four men stayed at home because he and his partner felt that she was not managing being at home with a child:

Before [our child] was born we discussed what we would do and we thought I would work and she'd stay home, but then it went pear shaped. We always thought though that one of us would stay home. We wanted him looked after at home for the first two years, you should have parental leave for that amount of time. When we decided I would stay home, it was a decision we both made because she was just so stressed at home with [our child].

Two women whose partners were self employed thought that it would be difficult for their partners to do any other kind of work, so the partners were not available to do more or all of the care giving.

4.1.3 Financial factors

Participants not in paid work did not welcome giving up one pay packet, but all felt they could manage on one income, irrespective of what it was. The household income of this group ranged from $15,000-$20,000 per year for two households to over $70,000 per year for six of the 13 households. The financial effects of giving up an income are discussed further in chapter seven.

When partners explicitly discussed which parent should stay at home with young children, they always discussed financial factors. An important reason for two of the men staying home was that their partner had a higher income. In most cases where couples felt that the woman should stay home, she had lower earnings. Where women earned as much as their partner, other factors such as who could cope best with looking after a child and children's health issues became more important.

Financial factors dominated the decision for only one person in this group - a man who had decided to stay at home full time with his young children primarily so that he would not have to pay child support for children from his previous marriage.

4.1.4 Paid work related factors

Almost all the people not in paid work had worked full time prior to having children or caring for an adult. Some identified factors associated with work in general, or with their specific work situation, that influenced their decision to stay at home full time. Both men and women said that they were not particularly interested in pursuing a career, or were less interested in doing so than their partner. A single woman with relatively low skills lacked confidence, and felt that her only job options were in low paid unskilled work and not worth pursuing.

A few people thought that it would be stressful to work and look after a child and a household, or that their previous work could only be done full time which would not leave enough time to be a parent:

We discussed giving this a couple of years and then reassessing whether I go back part time or full time - but going back to [my previous work] is questionable. My experience is that you have to give it your all... It would be too much having [child] as well, not having the time for him.

Two people were affected by restructuring at work while they were on parental leave, although were not sure they wanted to return anyway:

I went on parental leave and the business I worked for moved to [another city] while I was on parental leave. I was kind of planning to go back but not sure how long it would be. I initially took a year's parental leave. I was undecided about going back. I was initially thinking about full time study after parental leave, but carried on with part time study. I didn't look for another paid job. We were financially comfortable. I wanted to make the most of my time with [our child], be focused on [our child].

This group did not seriously explore flexibility options in their workplace because their primary reason for leaving paid work was to care for young children. Several had made assumptions about how flexible their workplace might be based on their observations of workplace culture. One woman thought that her previous workplace was inflexible, and this discouraged her return to work:

If [my former] workplace was more flexible, initially, before I left work I thought I might go back.

Almost all of this group had plans to return to work, not necessarily in their previous job, within the next two to five years, and some earlier than that if finances demanded. Options included entering part time work or running their own business.

4.1.5 Other factors

One man at home full time with his two children, one of whom had special needs, did not make a decision to be at home, but was forced to give up paid work after a serious accident. Prior to this accident, he had not considered being at home with children.

Other factors which contributed to people's decision to be at home full time were:

• wanting to breastfeed a child for two years
• having another baby
• having the opportunity to study
• being unable to drive, which made it easier to stay home - combined with a perceived lack of marketable skills.

4.2.1 Beliefs about caring responsibilities

Both men and women and people of all ethnic groups and income bands described how their beliefs about parental care of children affected their decisions about paid work. Eleven said that having to care for family members was the main reason they chose to work part time. Most had been out of paid work or in part time work for some years because of their views. Two of the five men in this group had become primary caregivers for their children after they and their partners decided the children needed one parent at home after a period of both parents working. People were able to manage their part time work by doing it at home, or when children were in school, or when their partner or another family member could care for the children.

None of the three people with pre-schoolers used formal early childhood education services where they left their child (although one intended to use kohanga reo). They thought that parental care of young children was important, which included for one person the commitment to breastfeeding her child. Another participant was with her child when he went to kindergarten, working as a teacher aide:

I haven't worked until the last year when he started kindergarten and I am there with him. All activities are around him - he is the primary factor [in relation to work situation]. I want to be there for him. A parent should be at home. I believe in parental care. When I work at the kindy, I am part of his life. I do it because he is there.

Eight participants who worked part time had primary school aged children and needed to arrange after school and holiday care. Most were able to provide this themselves; some had family support as well. Where out of school services were an option, some people chose not to use them, either because their children did not like it, or because the parents felt it was not the right option for their children. For example, one single father considered out of school services inappropriate because his primary school aged children had had a traumatic time recently:

My plan is to stay two years with them [before returning to work]. Get them centred and happy. A year is not long enough. The youngest one is very insecure, they hate me going out, [the children] think I won't come back because that is what their mother did.

Another partnered father with school age children made it a priority to be at home to provide after school and holiday care:

When we were both working, we had a house cleaner and experimented with nannies but it didn't really work. [More regular] part time work was an option, I did look at some part time jobs but this just works better. The children enjoy it - having one person who is dedicated - not all this other stuff [various carers] happening. We find at this stage, as they are getting older the [children] need just as much if not more involvement and guidance than they did when they were younger.

One person used out of school services as the most practical option for childcare. She was a single parent who was studying and working, and had few friends or family members living close by to help her.

Three participants had secondary school age children for whom out of school services were not an issue.

4.2.2 Financial factors

Financial factors influenced people's decisions about participating in paid work. With their carer responsibilities, some partnered people felt able to work only a few hours a week. They included people with relatively low household incomes, as well as those with household incomes over $50,000 per year. For a few couples, financial factors influenced who would be the primary caregiver - two men in this group were the primary caregivers because their partners earned more.

A few of the people working part time were doing so for the extra money, as well as for personal satisfaction:

We made the decision for me to work one day per week jointly; it was me and my partner because we needed the money. I did enjoy being at home but I also can see that I did want to re-enter the adult world for myself... I guess it is also good to be in the outside world and be meeting people. I do like doing some paid work.

One person said that money was not a factor in the decision to work part time, but had become more important since starting work.

Money was not the primary factor in decision making for single people working part time. For those not on a benefit and working longer part time hours, money was a more important reason to be in paid work; for those on a benefit, money was not that important due to benefit abatement

I am still on the [Domestic Purposes Benefit]. I can earn $80 per week extra. I am hoping to get off the benefit and would then get a supplement...money is not the biggest thing, I want to get out of house and to accomplish things.

[The part time work] causes benefit abatement that makes me worse off but I need the experience and a reference. If I work one day I'm worse off, if I had five days work I'd be better off. Strangely it also matters what day I report working - they have never been able to explain how this works.

4.2.3 Other paid work related factors

Two people said the decision to leave full time paid work was independent of their caring responsibilities - one did not want to work full time; and the other resigned from his job because of issues with management, but was looking for another full time job.

Others were ambivalent about their paid work and wanted to be at home for their children:

I most enjoyed work contact with people but was happy to leave, I didn't enjoy it that much.

It was pretty obvious to me and my partner that I would stay at home. I wasn't particularly enjoying my job at that stage.

The nature of one person's previous profession influenced her to become the primary caregiver despite earning more than her partner:

Initially my career was the better one, now it is his. If I had gone back to work full time and [my partner] had stayed home I would have been working very long hours and on call, and I didn't want that.

An inability to work part time also contributed to some people's decision not to stay in full time paid work, but rather to work a few hours per week in a different job:

One of the main things was the stress we used to have about being able to pick up kids. I was on night shift one day 11pm - 7 am and dropping off kids and not getting much sleep. I had a car accident and I thought I can't do this, it's too hard ...I knew [my previous job] would not offer part time work.

Even when the workplace did offer part time work, this did not necessarily work well:

My work place was accommodating. I had tried working four days at one time but that was difficult and people wanted you to be there all the time.

The parent of a child with special needs doubted that a job existed that could cope with her unpredictable regime of hospital appointments:

[My child] has hospital appointments frequently and it is very difficult to predict how long they will be. They say come for one hour but we will be there for three or four. This would make it very difficult to work [in a more regular job with longer hours].

A number of men and women enjoyed the social contact at work and said their self esteem had improved. Others wanted to maintain skills or were offered work in 'a direction I wanted to head into'.

Most people working part time thought that their participation in paid work would change in the future. Some were actively looking for full time work. Others were thinking of retraining for personal satisfaction, or because their current profession was incompatible with family life. They thought this would happen in several years when their children were at a different stage. For some, this was when a child started school, for others it was when children were in secondary school or had left school.

4.3.1 Beliefs about caring responsibilities

As with other groups, many participants in full time work were strongly influenced by their beliefs about parental or family care for children.

Half of the people in this group had not been in paid work at all, or had worked part time when their children were pre-schoolers, because they wanted to care for young children. Most had resumed full time paid work when their children were at school.

The other half had worked throughout their child/ren's lives, apart from periods of parental leave. Many still wanted their children to be in family care when they were under two years old. They either had family members care for their children, sometimes for pay, or took their young child/ren to work with them:

Having support from family enabled early return to full time work. I would not have gone back so early if my mother was not there.

Four of the five participants who had pre-school children and worked full time used early childhood education services, part or full time, to enable them to be in paid work. Three women were partnered and had high personal and household incomes; one was a single parent who took a job opportunity when her youngest child was six months old as she felt it would not come up again:

My child is in kohanga 9am-3pm, five days a week. It costs $79 per week; I receive the childcare subsidy which covers the cost. She has been there since she was 18 months old. Prior to that, she was looked after by my neighbour from when she was six months old, then the neighbour got a job and I only had a week's notice to find somewhere. All [the crèches] were booked up but I found space in a good kohanga. Unfortunately it only goes until 3pm and I work until 5pm. After 3pm, my sister has [my child] until I finish work or my older children are home.

One woman who worked 30 hours a week used a formal education and care centre for three days a week to care for her 14 month old child. She had put much effort into finding a high quality service, and considered her child benefited from attending this centre:

I like the things [child] gets from crèche, the social interaction and activities, mental and physical stimulation. A nanny would be good with the one to one care but [child] really enjoys and benefits from lots of kids around.

She did, however, set limits round this to ensure that her child was not in a centre based service five days a week.

[If I work extra hours] more days at [the centre] are possible but I prefer my mum to do the extra days. I don't want the centre to be [my child's] sole input.... [My workplace] have asked me [do extra hours] but I don't really want to have her in day care that long. I would prefer not to have her there longer hours.

Two people were using out of school services on some days, and another would like to but the school her child attended did not have this service.

Eighteen of the 23 people in full time paid work felt that their need to provide care had had some effect on their decision about paid work. Of the other five, four women had returned to full time work less than six months after their children were born. All said that caring for others had not affected this decision. One man who was the primary caregiver during the day and worked evening shifts had always worked in the evenings.

Many participants had either limited their hours of work, or changed the type of work they did in terms of level of seniority or amount of stress. One man who was the primary caregiver for his children said:

When one first starts work one has aspirations. But kids are first and foremost and career not that important. I'm not disappointed I didn't go further. We considered me working in Australia [better career development there] but my partner wants to work in [this city]. We talked about me commuting to Australia on a weekly basis. But family was the deciding factor. I need to be around my kids and my partner for the sake of our marriage.

4.3.2 Financial factors

Financial factors influenced many people's decisions to be in full time paid work, but were also strongly related to other aspects of paid work such as personal satisfaction. Fifteen of the 23 had personal incomes over $40,000 a year, compared with the national average in June 2005 of just under $31,000 a year for people in paid employment.^[9] Four had personal incomes between $30,000 and $40,000, while four had personal incomes below the national average.

A few people decided to start work some years ago because they needed the money for living costs, but found now that having the money made life more pleasant and provided options for the future, including being able to save for retirement:

The paid element [of work] is not so important but I don't want financial stress.

It's become financial - the more you have the more you have to work. When we came to New Zealand I worked because we needed the money. Now if I keep working hard I could retire early.

One woman described how having two working parents was part of their family vision of being in a better place, that is, working and saving. A parent of a child with special needs also felt it was important to save now for his child's future:

We know there will be benefits for [our child] in the future although we are busy now. The financial thing is more important for him. We want to be able to slow down later as we'll always have a dependent child.

Needing the income from full time paid work was an important factor in most single parents' decision making, but other aspects of paid work were important too. One single parent who had worked full time almost since her child's birth felt she had had a stark choice, but she also valued being in paid work for the contribution she made and for the intellectual stimulation:

[Work] is about stability and commitment and participation, contribution, giving back and remuneration... I have chosen to prioritise financial security as opposed to being an actively involved parent.

Income was also important for a woman in full time paid work who was caring for her disabled partner:

Our money situation halved overnight. He had been working full time so his salary disappeared after sick leave ran out. I suddenly had this mortgage and everything. I was planning to work until I was 65 and then retire; now I have to work until I pay off the house.

Even if income was not a factor driving the decision to be in paid work full time, having financial stability was important for some people:

We got into a financially secure place first. My partner earns more than me but our income is joint. I have earned more than her at times. Who cares who gets it as long as it comes in? We're financially secure, it's not a hassle. You can never earn enough money anyway.

Income from being in full time work was irrelevant to two participants, both of whom personally earned over $70,000 per year and had partners earning over $100,000 per year:

We're better off than most families and it didn't really matter if I was working.

It's not really the money - it's not a major priority, we could manage with only his income.

Relative incomes were an important factor in deciding who would be the primary caregiver for children, but most men had other reasons for being in this role and in full time paid work. They included taking redundancy from a previous job, working evening shifts, being single, and having very flexible employment.

4.3.3 Other paid work related factors

People were also influenced by other aspects of paid work, including wanting to contribute and using their skills. Men and women caring for children or adults or both felt this way. Most women in full time paid work discussed the frustration of being at home caring for children. Some had actually experienced this frustration; others thought they would do so if they were at home.

People working full time did not explicitly say that having a career was central to their sense of identity, but they did feel paid work was important as it gave people value, acknowledged their efforts, and paid them:

Paid work is really important. I understand the value it gives to people, feelings of value and contribution - and food and being able to provide for the children.

All of the participants in the study who had a managerial job were working full time. People with such positions considered it would be difficult to have this role part time. Half of the participants in the professional category also worked full time, as did nine out of the 22 in the associate professionals and technicians group.

As for people working part time, work provided a break from caring:

I like working because of the social contact and also I like to get away. Also [partner with disabilities] does more when I'm not here but if I'm here he relies more on me.

Only two people wanted to reduce their hours of work or stop working. One was an older woman caring for an adolescent with special needs who wanted to retire:

Just recently I have weighed it all up and decided to retire. It's too hard to keep working and I'm tired of it all. I am going to go overseas and it will be a break. I am lucky that in that I have worked it out and I think financially I have enough money now. I am very lucky that I have this option now.

The other person had one child at primary school and another child soon to start school. She was finding the care of primary school children more difficult to fit in with full time paid work, than the care of pre-school age children:

What I would like to do is be at home more. Ideally I would like to find a job three days per week or only work school hours. Don't think I could do what I currently do in part time hours because responsibility comes with the role. The five year old is the 'stress' area [in terms of] childcare...We did want them to go to after school activities but can't really do that at the moment. My goal is to eventually be able to work school hours.

4.3.4 Other factors

An additional factor for one woman was her partner's opinion. He considered that she should be in full time paid work, and this had a strong influence on her decision:

If I did have my way I'd be home. Work would be secondary. My partner has an influence here. He wants me to work, so he's looking out for my best interests. He likes me being out there.

4.5.1 People caring for children with special needs

While having a child with special needs did not in itself appear to drive people's decisions about participating in paid work, it did add stress to their lives. For people not in paid work or working few hours, it combined with other factors to influence their decision. These other factors included the number of children people had, living rurally or in a small town, the support they had from family including their partner, and their level of marketable skills. One person with five children, including one with special needs, lived rurally and had to travel to work. She was ambivalent about working in her professional occupation and wanted to retrain. Although she wanted to work more hours, mainly for the additional income but also for personal satisfaction, the combination of all of these factors limited her ability to take on more paid work.

4.5.2 People caring for adults

People caring for older adults without specific disabilities said that these duties did not influence their decision about participating in paid work. They did most, but not all, of the care in the evenings and weekends, which had a much greater impact on their leisure time and time for themselves. Participants who were supporting and caring for older parents or parents in law gave examples of reciprocity, where their elderly parents, where they were able, provided care and support for the participant's children, particularly after school and in the school holidays.

The decisions of people caring for adults with disabilities were more influenced by these responsibilities, but other factors were also important. One person with an adult son with a mental illness lived in the country, had been out of the paid workforce for over a decade, was single, had health issues, and also had a child at secondary school. Another woman caring for her disabled spouse had reduced her hours of work because of her partner's disability, but also enjoyed her paid work as it provided some socialising, and a 'break' from her caring responsibilities.

4.5.3 Men

Men shared the view that parental care of children, particularly young children, was important. Financial factors also influenced men's decision making, for example in deciding to become the primary caregiver for children because their partner earned more. However, traditional gender roles were strong among the men, and not all of them came to the decision to be the primary caregiver positively. A number had come to it later in their children's lives. Some became the primary caregiver because their children's mother was not available, or for other reasons such as having an accident that meant they had to stop being in paid work.

4.5.4 Ethnic groups

Factors influencing decisions were similar for different ethnic groups in the study. People of Maori, Pacific and European ethnicity were in every category of paid work, and shared beliefs about caring for children, particularly when young. Traditional views about gender roles were also spread across all ethnic groups, although as described in the following chapter, Pacific men who were primary caregivers had a strong sense of their community's attitudes towards their decisions.