DECISIONS ABOUT CARING AND WORKING
5 Process of decision making
This chapter focuses on how people made decisions about participation in paid work. It explores the level of choice and control people felt they had, who they discussed their decision with, and the involvement of their partner, where they had one, in the decision.
5.1 Level of choice and control over decision
Most participants felt that they had control over the decision to be in paid work, although they did not always have control over the exact timing of the work opportunity. People interpreted the concepts of choice and control differently. Some participants interpreted choice as having two or more realistic options which they would consider; others thought they had a choice because options existed in absolute terms, even though they personally would never select any but one of those options.
Many participants not in paid work or working part time believed that they had primary responsibility for the care of their child/ren. Some thought that these beliefs offered them a choice; others did not. Those who had decided to leave paid work, or reduce their hours of paid work to be with their child, felt they had no choice because of their philosophical commitment to parenting in that way. Others felt there was a choice because, theoretically, they could have gone back to work and paid for early childhood education or childcare.
Participants who were in part time paid work experienced different degrees of control of their decisions. Those who had given up working longer hours because they did not want to work so long felt they had control; those who were finding it difficult to get a full time job did not.
People working full time felt they had choice and control over the decision to be in full time work. Some described a financial imperative, and it was impossible to determine how much this constrained their options. One woman felt her partner's views had overridden her own preferences.
5.1.1 Men
Several men who had reluctantly taken on the role of primary caregiver felt they had no choice. Although they shared their partner's commitment to their child having an at home parent, they did not necessarily want to be that parent. They were at home for financial reasons or because of the needs and preferences of their partner. One man noted:
The main factor in the decision was that one of us had to be at home... but I feel I had no choice, none at all... there's not much I can do now, I'm stuck with a situation and you just have to get on with it.
Other men were at home for similar reasons, but took a positive view of the decision.
5.2 Evolving or deliberate decisions
People had difficulty, both in identifying the point at which their decision making began, and in judging how deliberate their decisions about participation in paid work were. Before the interview, relatively few had reflected on the decision making process in any depth.
For many people, the process had its foundations in earlier circumstances and/or decisions, ranging from their behaviour in school, to their choice of partner and career, and where they lived.
When they were expecting their first child, a number of people were uncertain about when, and if, they would return to paid work. They felt that the decision evolved in the months after the child's birth, depending on how they were managing with a baby. One person at home with a 20 month old child had not yet decided when she would go back to work. Those with a commitment to parenting at home felt there was no single point when they made a decision - they were always going to stay home.
People with older children could also not recall how long decisions had taken, or a specific time when they made a decision.
With one exception, the single people had been single parents since their youngest or only child was a pre-schooler. Most said that their decisions about paid work had just evolved. Some put this in the context of the shock they felt on separation from their partner - other aspects of their life, including paid work, 'just happened'.
It was also difficult for people to pinpoint how long it took them to make a decision. Some had been thinking about getting a job for some time, but had to decide quickly when an opportunity arose. One person spent three years thinking about starting a business; another had spent six months deciding whether to study.
5.3 Discussion with others
Almost all people who had a partner discussed the decision with them. One person with an uncommunicative partner did not; neither did a woman caring for her partner with a disability. Some people also discussed their situation with older children and wider family, especially when the decision would have an impact on the family.
Some people discussed their situation with friends. One person felt other women in her antenatal group would be judgemental, and deliberately did not discuss her decision to return to part time work with them. Others discussed their situation in general with people other than immediate family, as part of the decision making process.
Very few people mentioned talking to their colleagues or boss, although they may have done so in a general sense. One woman who did was considering increasing her hours in the same job.
A few women said there was no need for discussion as it was a 'given' that they would stay home with their children.
5.3.1 View of partner
Most women described their partners as supportive of whatever they wanted to do. Where people chose to be in part-time paid work, the extent of support from partners was often contingent on the work having no impact on them. They could be described as 'neutral' rather than supportive. On the whole, male partners accepted their partners working part time, although some expressed concern about the level of stress it might cause the family. Their ambivalence is illustrated in the following quote:
My partner knew I would look [for work] .. He wished me luck for the interview and was mildly congratulatory when I got the job. Once I said it would be good if he would help with household work [when I was working full time] and he said 'I didn't ask you to go back to work'. He's happy for me to work if it doesn't affect him.
People who had decided to stay at home with their children while they were young agreed with their partners in that decision. For example:
Partner was keen for me to stay at home but it was my choice. I made the choice he wanted... if I hadn't I'm not sure how it would have been. It was good that in the end we agreed.
Partners often felt someone should stay home with pre-schoolers, particularly first children, but not them. They cited their personality and 'ability' to be at home, rather than their partner's career prospects or earning power.
Women in full time work, mostly with older children, described their partners as supportive. Their partners' view did not have a great influence on their decision because the women felt in control of the process, or the partners agreed over the decision. One exception was a woman who was working full time because her partner wanted her to, when she would have preferred to work part time.
Men described their partners as supportive. Most said that they came to the decision to be at home full time after discussion with their partners, rather than through assuming they would do that. Two men were at home with a child from the child's birth. One of them had been at home with his partner for eight months after their child's birth before becoming the primary caregiver. In other cases, men became caregivers when the children were older. Women's keenness to be at work and their higher income were instrumental in these decisions.
5.3.2 Discussion of role changes
At some time, almost all participants with partners discussed the possibility of the man being the primary caregiver. Those who did not either wanted to give up work or had traditional views about gender roles. Most of the initial discussion happened before the child was born. In most cases, participants did not seriously consider the option because of the male partner's larger earnings, or the nature of the partner's self employment, or the option faded away when men saw what was involved in caring for a baby. Almost all men who actually took on the role of primary caregiver had more serious discussions about doing so after their child was born, or were in a situation where no other option was available ( such as a man whose ex partner was in prison).
Some participants said that it was 'completely obvious' the man 'could not' be the primary caregiver because of 'his personality,' larger earnings, or self employment. One couple discussed a role change because the opportunity arose for the male partner to take redundancy. The man who had an accident that meant he had to leave work had not had any discussion about being the primary caregiver before this.
Two factors tended to go together in discussions - who earned the most and to whom work or career was most important. There were exceptions: one professional woman did not want to work long hours and be on call despite having a better paid career than her partner; another woman with an income equivalent to her partner's discussed the idea, but abandoned it when their first child was diagnosed with an illness:
The initial plan when we had children was that he might take a year out. But by two months it was clear [the baby] was ill and she never stopped crying, no one wanted to look after because of that and the fear that something would happen to her and breastfeeding kept her happy so that was extended. We made the decision that I would be with her, it was all rather unknown. Then we had another child, lived very rurally and the pathway [of me being at home] evolved.
Most single parents had no opportunity to discuss role changes - they had fixed day to day care arrangements, or the children's other parent was not around.
5.4 Seeking information
Researchers asked participants whether they had any information that helped them make a decision. Few participants had sought information specifically to help them make a decision. Some people sought information about possible financial support or tax implications, but this information did not appear to have much effect on their decision. One single person quite deliberately did not seek information as she did not want to rely on state support.
A few participants who were not in paid work had looked at full day or full time early childhood education options for their children, even though they believed parental care was important for their children and this was their main reason for not being in paid work. Those who did look at these services were not especially serious about using them, but did so more out of interest (one looked at a centre her mother worked at). One woman who was in paid work three days a week, and whose child was at an early childhood education centre, had spent a great deal of time and energy finding the 'right place' as she wanted to make sure the service she used was of high quality.
5.5 Information about the longer term implications of decisions
Interviewers asked participants whether, since they made their decision, they were aware of any information about the possible longer term effects of working or not working on themselves and their family. While no one sought information relating to the longer term financial or career effects of not working or reducing hours in paid work, some were aware of financial issues. One person had cashed in her superannuation to fund her time off work while her partner still had his. Another acknowledged that having both partners in full time work, after many years of one being in part time work, gave them an opportunity to save for their old age.
Participants were aware of the public debate surrounding formal early childhood education and informal childcare and its effects on children, but they did not seek this information out in order to make a decision. Some had read books or seen television programmes or were aware of research, which they considered delivered ambiguous results. Many people had opinions or repeated anecdotes from family and friends about the importance of children having a parent at home:
Well, you read all the crap and it says that they are best at home with a parent at least until they can communicate. I've read all that stuff on the internet, and the books, the raising boys stuff and that's what it says and boys are slower to communicate and use different methods to communicate so till he can communicate I want one of us to be at home with him.
People found decision making straightforward, and gave the strong impression that having information on the consequences of their decisions would have made little difference. The quote below was typical:
I haven't looked at longer term financial impacts - what will be, will be. Money is not the most important thing. I talked to my cousin who is a teacher about differences with kids who have a parent at home [in terms of] children's behaviour and attitudes and that has reinforced to me that long term I am doing the right thing with my son.
5.6 Ease of decision
In general, people did not find it hard to make decisions about participation in paid work. They were concerned that their children should get the best care and were reluctant to take decisions that would jeopardise that, even if it meant that they found themselves in situations they were not completely satisfied with or felt guilty about. People leaving paid work reported the most difficulty with making a decision. They included: a man deciding whether to take redundancy; a man who did not initially want to be the primary caregiver; a woman who had given up a well paid career to be at home with her child; and a woman deciding to give up a part time job to study full time.
5.7 Summary
Most people felt they had choice and control over their decision about paid work, and found decision making a straightforward, if imprecise process, influenced by their upbringing, beliefs and personal circumstances.
Men were divided into those felt they had little choice over the decision that they would be the primary caregiver and those who made a positive choice, often on the same grounds as the more reluctant caregivers.
People discussed their situation at a general level with friends and people in the wider community, but had more specific discussions with partners and immediate family. Participants did not specifically seek information about possible support or consequences before they made their decision.