DECISIONS ABOUT CARING AND WORKING
7 Effects of decisions
This chapter discusses the effects of people's decisions on their careers, their income, their families, and themselves.
7.1 Effect of caring responsibilities on work and career
The effect of caring responsibilities on participants' paid work and career depended on, and interacted with, factors such as work history, how much practical support they had in caring for children, and attitudes to using formal early childhood education or informal childcare services.
7.1.1 People not in paid work
Most people not in paid work expected that their caring responsibilities would have some impact on their paid work when, and if, they resumed it. People with a range of occupations and incomes anticipated effects such as not being able to carry on their previous type of work (for example, project management in a corporate environment), or not resuming it at the same level.
One person who had had a highly paid career was considering a less well paid career that fitted better with caring for her child:
Part of me thinks I don't want to go back [to previous career] but I put so much into it. The reality is that I can't go back. [Going back] would be a change a career direction. I'm looking at early childhood education papers that would fit more with what I'm doing now. I'm starting with playcentre training. If I enjoy it, I'll pursue it. So when I'm ready to let go of [my child] I may have a change of career. I'm trying not to limit myself to what I used to do.
A few people who were in low to medium paid jobs before they had children, such as teacher aide or personal assistant, were taking the opportunity to study to enhance their career prospects. For them, being at home had a positive effect.
People with children at school or who had a lot of family support were in a position to consider training, study or starting a business. Others were constrained by the demands of care they needed to provide, and lack of support. For example, a person who lived in the country and had five children wanted to start a business, but felt she had limited time to do so. She also found it difficult to undertake any training.
7.1.2 People in paid work
Some people working less than ten hours a week were in jobs they had worked in full time before they had children. A few who were qualified for a trade/profession were less concerned about the change, but one person felt she was less competent in her profession than she would be if she had remained in full time work. One did not want to return to her former profession, but found some local demand for her professional skills.
Working only a few hours a week provided some people with an opportunity to retrain. Others, including people living in rural areas or people caring for children with special needs, were not in a position to do this. Retraining could pose as many difficulties as working fulltime would have done. One woman said:
I thought about training to be a teacher because it would fit in so much better with the family, but with [daughter having special needs] I just couldn't have done the hours at training college, and also as a teacher the full time hours might be a bit much too. When I looked at the hours if I was to re-train I know I couldn't do it. It [retraining] is also partly that I don't want the extra stress of being [in my current profession], being on call 24 hours a day sometimes... There is a high fall out rate among [my current profession] anyway; a lot of people do give it up... If it was just me with no children I would be training to be a midwife by now, that's what I really want to do but it is just too hard, but I could train to be a teacher possibly... I may still retrain as a teacher when [daughter with special needs] goes to high school.
All but two people working more hours, but still part time, were in jobs that they used to do full time. Because they worked part time, they could not do the extra tasks required to advance their careers. Single and partnered people had the same experience:
Lots of times I would like to go on training but I don't because of having a child. Having a child has held me back because my first thought always has to be for home. There are lots of positions, extra responsibility that came up in my job but I can't... I did get [a promotion] but resigned because I realised before I even started that I couldn't do it with [my child] as this would take me away from being a mother.
For some, personality or career orientation had as much impact as caring responsibilities. Caring gave some people new opportunities because they became more motivated or had opportunities for different types of work.
In a way I'd like to have been fully trained at something and to have travelled [prior to having child] but having my [child] has motivated me to do better for myself, to achieve.
Many of those who had always worked full time, including single people, thought their family responsibilities had not affected their careers. They were usually in the same job they had before they needed to look after children or adults, and had a lot of family support and/or flexible employment. One, for example, was an academic.
The people who worked full time, and who felt their careers had been affected by their need to care for others, usually had 'broken' work histories, including spells out of the workforce and/or periods of part time work. One mentioned being 'locked in' to a particular employer because the employer was supportive. Other effects included lack of promotion, less income from years of working part time, and not being able to take up networking and training opportunities. Both single and partnered people felt this:
There's a huge amount of networking before 9am and after 5pm and I am not able to participate in that.
Caring responsibilities have stopped my progression 100 percent. Attending one conference is very important to me and I'm so exhausted by the complex planning [for the family] required before I can attend. I turn down a lot of work opportunities because of the family.
Because he had shared day to day care of his children, one man was unable to go overseas to work or return to work in his hometown where he had more whanau support. A couple was constrained by having a child with special needs:
[Child's needs] would limit us working overseas even for a short period, such as three months....What country would take him? We'd need reciprocal medical benefits... We could only live in a main centre. And we have [our caregiver here] who is so good and accommodating.
7.2 Financial effects
People who had reduced hours or left paid work felt the financial effects of their decision most strongly.
Almost all those not in paid work gave up a second income by choosing to stay home. They relinquished incomes ranging from $25,000 - $30,000 to $70,000 - $100,000 per year. A few people, including a gardener, and a beneficiary who had done some part time work, commented that their personal income had not been large anyway. Others had high earning partners, and felt well enough off with only the partner's income.
For participants, the importance of a parent being at home with the child/ren outweighed the negative financial effects:
Financially we struggle - our business has made a loss for the last two years, we don't own our house and we are really careful with money. Working for Families is not set up for the self employed... The drop in income has been hard. Before I was paying a lot of expenses and now it's all up to [my partner] - he does feel the pressure. When we discuss it he says he doesn't want our child in care and the pressure on him is a trade off.
Irrespective of their previous or current personal or household income, people not in paid work missed the money. While they talked about not buying what they wanted, and not being able to save for a house or progress other financial plans, they were uncomplaining about these effects:
It would be nice to have more money but we pay the bills. We've given up personal spending but it's not a problem, we have food and clothes.
We understood that with only one income we would struggle financially and not live as before. But what is important? Children or money?
Both men and women not in paid work felt the loss of financial control more deeply than the lesser income:
Losing financial independence is huge. I can't buy this or that, having to ask permission is not cool at all.
At the other end of the spectrum, women who started doing paid work after some years out of the workforce were pleased to have some income of their own:
Extra money means I don't feel guilty buying myself clothes or getting things for the kids. We don't have separate money as such but my pay goes into a [separate] bank account and I feel I can spend it without feeling guilty. Nice to have money I have earned.
Single people felt the financial effects of their decision most intensely. After being out of the full time paid workforce for years because of her caring responsibilities, one woman found it demeaning to be offered less money per hour than she got 13 years ago. Another woman who had worked part time for years felt financially compromised by the priority she gave to caring for her family. She noted that her ex partner's income and potential earnings had grown while hers had not. Another commented on the difference in being a one, rather than two, income family:
It took me four years to get back to [our] previous two income salary level. Those years were very austere - we [child and I] got food parcels.
7.3 Effect on family relationships
7.3.1 People not in paid work or working few hours
Men who had stopped being in paid work or reduced their hours talked positively about the relationships that developed between themselves and their children as a result of their decision to be at home:
Most children are not close to their fathers but you become close to them being at home. I have come to see it this way... It's been going really well. There have been hiccups but it's really going strong. I get joy from seeing my children when they wake up. I ask myself, 'Where was I in the beginning of my boy's life?'
Some men also mentioned the importance of their relationship with their partner:
I didn't want to be selfish and really wanted to come to an agreement...It's worth it to really communicate, to be a team with my partner.
Most women not in paid work or working few hours talked about that being beneficial for children, rather than talking about their relationships with their children. One woman did discuss the strong bond she had with her child because she had spent so much time with him.
Both men and women who had reduced their hours of paid work felt the move was positive for family relationships, in that they had more time with their children.
7.3.2 People in full time paid work
Most parents working full time had older children. About half had not worked full time (or at all) when their children were younger, but felt that their children could now cope with both parents working. They talked about lacking time, for example, to go on school trips, but acknowledged the financial benefits for their children from the income. Some parents also mentioned the role modelling provided by parents' engagement in work:
I feel guilty occasionally; think about what other skills or experiences [the children] could have. But I think we are good role models, into education and working hard.
Deciding to be in full time paid work reduced financial stress for some single and partnered people, which could have a beneficial effect on relationships:
The financial pressure has come off. My sense is there is less stress. I feel less anxious, not looking at bills wondering how to pay them. That has impacted on relationships [positively].
7.4 Effect on individuals
While some men not in paid work felt cut off from their male friends, women not in paid work did not, on the whole, feel isolated as they had friends in the same position. Although they personally felt positive about their decision to be at home with their children when they were young, most did not feel that society valued their work as parents:
It is easier to go to work than stay home. I don't think you are appreciated for what you've put in at home. Now if I'm tired [working two days a week] people think it's fine.
The stress of 'doing everything' had an impact on women in full time paid work or working longer part time hours. They felt they had no time to themselves and were compromised in the care they gave their children, for example, when their children were sick:
At 2.30pm I'd feel the sweat run down my back about getting to school for 3pm.... If you don't feel that the parenting role is valued at work you feel constantly guilty [at work] and you feel guilty at home. I hate not being able to nurture my children when they are sick. They are aware of that pressure. They will hide sickness to try and help me and it breaks my heart.
Many women thought that they had most of the responsibility for domestic work; if they did not actually do it themselves, they had to see that it was done. This included organising children.
Women also took major responsibility for caring for adults. This had more impact on their leisure time and time for themselves than on their work, as they spent many weekends and evenings caring for their parents. When people cared for older adults with disabilities, their work was more likely to be affected:
My aged parents are not in [the city I live in]. My mother is in hospital with severe dementia. My father is at home ... his health is just deteriorating now. My weekends are spent up there helping him. I take time from work to do this, for example, I have taken my father to hospital for appointments four times in the last month. I get paid hourly so if I'm not there I don't get paid and that makes a difference.
7.5 Summary
Participants considered that their caring responsibilities had a significant effect on their work and careers. Some people not in paid work or working few hours thought they would not be able to return to highly paid and demanding jobs, others took the opportunity to study, aiming for a better paid and more satisfying job when they did return to work.
People working full time or near to it said that the effects of their family commitments on paid work were largely negative. Some were unable to attend professional development and networking opportunities. Others felt that senior positions at work were incompatible with their domestic responsibilities.
Although people clearly had less income when not in paid work or working less hours, this was not a significant issue, as they put more value on being home with young children. Having control of some income was more of an issue than the amount of income.
People in full time paid work felt their increased income reduced financial stress, which had positive effects on family relationships. However, for many women, being in full time paid work or working longer part time hours meant that they had less time for their families and for themselves.